Stuffed Beavers 2009
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After our astonishing appearance in the Final of the Spoon last year hopes are foolishly high for a cup winning year. Actually we are a bit more self aware than that and are expecting to produce the normal diet of incompetent batting, wide bowling and absence of catches for which we have gained world renown.
The Beavers do however fully intend to live up to the Sixes mission of making friendships through the game of cricket and are looking forward to catching up with many old pals and making plenty of new ones. As always it will be a great week.
The 2009 Stuffed Beavers Squad
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Nigel "Sums" Gurney (Capt.)
Now in his 21st straight year of captaincy of the Beavers he surprised himself and the rest of mankind last year by actually leading the team to three straight victories and a place in the final. However this year he seems to have lost all grip on reality by putting himself through extra coaching from a girl. We will be watching his throwing style carefully.
Ian “Don’t
call me Poohie – I’m 42 and a high court judge” Brookes Emboldened by hitting the last ball of the 2008 sixes out of the ground, young Brooker attempted to repeat the feat at the Mote Park Sixes without a bat and has a broken right hand to show for it. Undeterred, he returns for his second tour and is hopeful of making it through the week without rupturing his shoulder again. |
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| Adam “Jose” Barnett The legend, the man, the hose. He’s fully trained at mouth-to-mouth and rescuing damsels in distress. Last year he toured with his sister. This year, a closer female companion will be at his side – he’s your responsibility now, Nikki! |
Bart “Hose B” Simpson Our man for a crisis. Guaranteed to be on hand to patch up the SBCC walking wounded and has a 100% record in preventing major conflagrations in the team tent. Retains responsibility for shots and general bonhomie. A diamond geezer. |
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| Dicky “Lightning” Ford It is proven. Lightning does indeed strike twice. Not satisfied with sacrificing a perfectly serviceable tooth in the SBCC cause early in his career, the Dickster copped another one in the chops at CM08. Hasn’t played the tuba since. Lightning by name, frightening by nature, never more so than when steaming in off his full run – came a close second to the Chef in last year’s sprint challenge. Outstanding value behind the drums and will share his stool with anyone. Offers invited. |
Chas “Boundary” Begley Guaranteed to cross the boundary twice in every innings. Once on the way in…. The top man at Tuskers, his capabilities, enthusiasm and talents know no boundaries. Sadly, neither does his batting – if he was as enthusiastic at the crease as he is behind the bar, who knows what he might achieve? Having been crippled by gangrene to the right foot at last year’s tournament, his game has improved dramatically during the close season following the tactical addition of a wife. Will once again be welcoming everyone from the tournament to Tuskers, where life never stops (is that the right slogan? – Ed). |
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Matt “Apollo” Milsom
The talisman of the side: when he plays, the Beavers win. Sometimes. Left CM08 early to save the world economy and produced a record one-day rally on his return to Oz. His bowling is sponsored by the Meteorological Office due to the comprehensive weather readings obtained when his stock delivery returns from the troposphere. Legendary guitarist and head of banter.
Chris “Guilty as charged” Billingsley A welcome return for the big man from Belfast after his unavailability last year. As the only member of the squad with any sort of cricketing pedigree, the expectations of a whole team rest on his broad shoulders. Will slot effortlessly back into his role of chief fine-master. “I knew your mother!” |
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The Back Up Team | ||
| Rachel “Jonesy” Begley-Begley Without a shadow of doubt the bravest member of the squad. No, really. She married Chas. Willingly. Once again, she will be last man (or woman) standing at the bar, leaving seasoned hard-core drinkers in her wake as she pulls another Felx (“surely shome mishtake” – Ed). Will guarantee you a warm welcome at Tuskers. |
Nikki “the better half” Isaacs Having taken successfully to the role of Adam’s full-time carer, she is fast gaining a reputation as the playing members’ non-playing member. Will be invited to take on the role of team Physio, so watch out for that sponge….! |
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| Katy 'Darling' Thorogood As head of the Beavers media division Katy is likely to be extremely busy keeping the rapacious press and TV interest surrounding the Beavers camp under control. On her first tour to Chiang Mai she is assessing the viability of the proposed fly on the wall documentary 'Living with Beavers' which will follow the SBCC Sixes experience in 2010. |
Professor Phil Burgess A former full playing Beaver Professor Phil is the cricket theorist who studied Murali Muralitharan's chucking technique. This year Phil will be eschewing taking the field in favour of studying the quantum mechnics of the Beavers' technique and offering advanced technical advice. He is particularly interested in the efficacy of new highly coached Gurney girl power throwing action and the effect of the Milsom Apollo bowling technique on cricket balls. |
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