Now where were we? Oh yes – the battle-scarred sporting gladiators of the Stuffed Beavers Cricket Club had dragged themselves from the uncharted waters of the 2008 Spoon Final, carrying an array of ailments that left them looking like a cast of extras from MASH. Players departed to all corners of the globe for 51 weeks of preparation and a commitment to return to Chiang Mai in 2009 in the peak of physical fitness. Saturday 28^th March saw the players reunite at the opening reception and it was quickly apparent that in terms of fitness we were looking at a peak of the dutch variety: Brooker’s broken hand, Nige’s dodgy ankle, Dickster’s wobbly tooth, Adam’s disintegrating back, Barty’s deteriorating knee – it seemed that only Chas was not bringing a ready made excuse to the party. Married life is clearly treating that boy well.

Saturday evening followed a familiar theme: Porn Ping, then Sugar Shack then Jackie’s van, and it was with nearly clear heads that the players convened at the ground to prepare for what is fast becoming the traditional tour opener against the marvellous, albeit maverick, Malakas. The toss was dealt with long before the start, with the SBCC to bat first. The names went into the hat and Niki, in her first appearance at the sixes, did the honours of the draw: Nige & Dicky to open, followed by Adam, Chris, Chas and Barty, with Poohie drawing the role of chief photographer.

Warm-up nets was the usual mixed bag ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous, interrupted by negotiations on sound systems and other such technical niceties relating to the team’s expanded role as chief roadie to the tournament. A quick team talk for which everyone actually stayed (a tournament first) and then it was time for action: Nige & Dicky took to the crease and we were underway: a first ball single put the Dickster on strike, and after a couple of sighters off his pads he produced a daft glance to third man to record the first boundary of the innings. The repeat attempt was less successful as it clipped his off stump, but we were on our way. The second over saw our star contributor come into his own as the extras total started to move – four or five wides meant it looked like we were going to have a total to defend. Nige and Adam did their best to keep the scoreboard moving but boundaries were hard to find, and a series of hard-run twos quickly had the batsmen calling for the defibrillator. With one ball to go Adam wound up in his best captain caveman style to launch a big one but was out-foxed by Marty and lost his stumps: 61-2 at the close with Nige on 21 not out, failing to match the contribution of the extras.

Still, a potentially defendable total so no cause for disappointment. We were well aware that Marty was the dangerman and if he could be removed cheaply it would be game on. Oh dear. Things started well, with Barty’s looping off-breaks tying up the batsmen, and runs off the bat proving hard to come by. Chas delivered his usual disciplined line although Marty was beginning to connect at this stage. And then the pivotal over – first Chris produed the delivery of the day to flatten Lemon’s stumps, then he fired in a short ball which Marty pulled high wide and not very handsome to square leg, where Nige had plenty of time to position himself for the game-defining catch. So far so good. Sadly, displaying a pair of hands that might have resembled a revenue opportunity for United Dairies, he couldn’t hold on to it and despite a second chance when the ball popped out, it was not to be. Marty continued to swing mightily and the target continued to fall. But then another twist in the tale: Adam produced a cracking outswinger to find Marty’s outside edge and the celebrations began. As it turned out, just a fraction prematurely, as the Dickster forgot to complete the catch before commencing the dance. There were to be no third chances, and a final six over the scoreboard saw the Malakas home.

It was, as ever, no shame losing to this great bunch of guys and equally as ever a pleasure to share a beer with them afterwards. Agreement seems to have been reached on the procurement of the Stuffed Malaka trophy to be competed for on an annual basis so we look forward to many more games and many more parties with the undisputed party kings of the tournament.

A couple of chilled hours by the Manathai pool preceded the inaugural Sa Pa Sunday at Tuskers: outstanding food, a round of Jager Bombs and broad agreement on another trophy: The SBCC / Sa Pa bowl-out. Detailed rules were quickly established and the great event is scheduled for Thursday. Watch this space…..

Day Two - Rest Day

Monday was a designated rest day, but in Beaverland rest is a relative concept when there are trophies to be procured, fine food to be consumed, carpenters to be paid and Sa Pas to be supported. The arrival of Chas and Barty at Manathai Village heralded the start of proceedings, and after Chas and Nige had visited what is undoubtedly the world’s best value trophy store, to procure both the Stuffed Malaka Trophy and the Fat Ho Bowl, the team convened at Huen Phen for a veritable food fest and a welcome reunion with our old friend Kadunga.

From there it was a replete team that made its way to the Gymkhana club, with one stop-over to pay for Colin’s doors ordered in and delivered after CM08. This time the Sa Pa tent was our destination to cheer them on in their David vs Goliath match against the Gloucestershire Gypsies – tournament winners in 2007. The start was less than auspicious due to the lack of a single Sa Pa when we arrived and it was down to Nige to stand in for Morto at the coin toss when the Gypsies came calling. True to form, Nige called incorrectly and the Gypsies elected to bat. The arrival of the Sa Pas a few minutes later came as something of a relief to the SBCC as a nagging fear had been growing that we may have to stand in for our absent friends. The match itself has received a worthy write-up in the Bangkok Post but special mention should go to Pete who took an outstanding catch on the boundary only to embark on a celebratory run that took him over the rope and the Gypsies another 6 runs into the lead. Tournament records looked set to be broken but in the end the Sa Pas restricted their opponents to a highly creditable 106. They set about their run chase with great intent but some crafty left-arm bowling put the brakes on and they ultimately fell 56 runs short. The statisticians are already getting excited on how these numbers will compare with the Beavers vs Wombats game scheduled for Wednesday…

Manathai Monday saw the team holding a detailed debrief in the Manathai Village pool to the accompaniment of mango margharitas, and thence to the clubhouse for the Monday night quiz. A slightly eclectic team finally operated under the name of the Dutch Stuffed Wombats bolstered (in numbers terms at least) by Terry and his family from the Wombats and three back-packing Dutch students with no interest in cricket. With one round to go the DSW were looking well placed just one spot off the lead, but a disastrous final round and a woeful display of knowledge on Al Pacino’s oscar nominations saw the challenge fade to nothing. A healthy charge at the Thaigaritas notwithstanding, time was called on a quiet night shortly after midnight, with a crunch game against the Cavaliers due the following morning – the word on the street was that this was our weakest opposition and hence a great opportunity to return to winning ways…..

Day Three vs Gymkhana Cavaliers

The call was for a rendezvous at the ground at 10am, and with a full turn-out it was quickly time for the draw. Once again Niki stepped up to the plate, and the order was Nige, Chas, Poohie, Barty, Chris & Adam, with Dicky selected to undertake photographer duties. A quick trade saw Nige & Chris swap places to give Bilko a chance for a decent bat and then it was off to the nets to “prepare”. There was a moment of high drama when the Udonthai Richmond Steakies, who were several players and all of their kit short of being ready for their game suggested first that the Beavers bring forward their game; second that we lend them our kit ; and third, once a couple more players had arrived, that we lend them a player. Dickster, to this day, does not know how close he came to being seconded to another team, And not just any other team……

At the nets, the evidence of much smiting, in particular by Poohie and Chris suggested we were playing our way into form, and it was a confident team who took to the field, having negotiated in lieu of tossing a coin.

Adam took the first over and opted to come in off his longer run, to great effect, restricting the Cavaliers to just 4 runs, aided by some sterling work by Barty behind the stumps. Next up was Nige and his newly styled bowling action which, it has to be said, does not appear to have done anything for his consistency. Two wides were called before he finally offered up something the batsman could hit, and a towering shot was launched towards Adam at long-off. There was plenty of ground to be made but this was, let us not forget, the team athlete, and he got himself into position and held onto a steepling chance to send the batsman packing. Poohie’s over followed and continued to contain the Cavaliers, and although Chas was not quite on his A game, a tight final over from Chris saw the score restricted to 50 – a score considered to be very gettable, particularly on the basis of what we had seen in the nets.

Chris and Chas headed to the crease to get the innings underway and in spite of their best intentions the looping dibbly-dobbly bowling of the Cavaliers attack proved extremely tricky to get away. The first over saw only 5 scored and in the second Chas fell victim to a smart piece of glovework as he came down the pitch looking to push on the scoring rate. Poohie joined Chris for the powerhouse partnership, but with the ball not coming on to the bat, and the bowling being kept to a tight line, the required run rate edged higher. Chris was finally undone in the third over and after a couple of sharply run twos Barty fell victim to another fine stumping. Young Brooker continued to swing with gusto but the boundaries still proved elusive and eventually the need for ever riskier running saw him fail to make his ground after an over-ambitious second run called by Nige. Adam’s caveman approach was hampered by the limited time available but saw us to 40 for 4 and a first bonus point for getting to within 80% of the winning score.

So it is played two, lost two, with stronger opposition to come. A couple of beers with the Cavaliers rounded off the afternoon nicely at which point the team repaired to various hotels for an afternoon of R&R and match report-writing, in anticipation of Dicky’s debut gig at guitar man. Dinner at Tuskers preceded the very welcome arrival of Phil and Katy, which coincided with the very sad confirmation that Millers was not going to be able to join us during the week. One player lost, one gained and Phil was quickly signed up for the rest of the week. A quick sojourn to the Irish Pub in acknowledgement of their loan of some kit and then on to cheer on Dicky and his new band. A bit of an eclectic mix as it turned out – some encouraging early numbers morphing into Aussie John unplugged, which has yet to feature on the best-sellers charts…. It seemed rude not to have a couple of drinks in the Thirsty Beaver, where the CM Sixes Boat Race challenge was conceived, and will be launched on Beaver Friday. Another trip to the trophy shop beckons…..

Day - Four Beavers vs Wombats

Another early start for the cricketers with an 11.20 game against the Wombats and their new line-up with only a couple of familiar faces from previous years. It was a pleasure to welcome Phil to his first Chiang Mai Sixes although Katy was unable to make it as we were informed that she was suffering from a sticky bed. Possibly too much information for a team trying to focus on mental preparation for a big match, but so be it…..The toss went the way of the wombats who elected to bat first – thoughts immediately turned to the record score posted the previous day and whether this would be in jeopardy. Ever the perfectionists, the SBCC duly convened at the nets and Phil in particular welcomed the opportunity to swing the willow for the first time in something like 8 years. The draw saw the names come out as: Nige, Barty, Chris, Adam, Phil, Chas, Poohie and Dicky, and on the basis that 3 of the last four had missed earlier games, Chas and Adam agreed to sit this one out, with the batting order adjusted accordingly.

This meant that it was down to the Dickster to lead the attack, and he launched proceedings with a spectacular leg-side wide, thereby restricting the powerhouse Wombat openers to just 4 runs. A couple of ill-advised straight deliveries followed which were deposited back over the bowler’s head for 6 apiece, and at the end of the over the Wombats were well on their way. Brooker tightened up the run rate and Phil followed up with a steady first over in Sixes cricket but the Wombats stayed on the front foot and after Chris held things together in the fourth over, a final over of dross from Nige saw the Wombats through to 81 without loss – less than they might have expected but a formidable total nonetheless.

A quick application of San Miguel Gold was all the preparation that could be fitted in to the time available and it was back to the middle with Nige to take first strike with Barty at the other end. An edged single from Nige and a more confident one from Barty saw the SBCC on their way but it was to prove to be a false dawn as Nige’s stumps were re-arranged by Justin, who apparently still thinks he has a ticket to the Oval test match…. Chris took over proceedings and started to hit the ball to all corners of the outfield, although the boundaries continued to prove largely elusive. Barty continued to provide sterling support and the second wicket pair saw the Beavers through to 34 for 1 at the close. Not quite enough as it turned out but a good effort from the two of them, with Barty carrying his bat for 6 and Chris unbeaten on 22.

Beer with the Wombats was a truncated affair as they had a second game to come and hence Chedi Wednesday was declared, from whence thie report is written. Very peaceful…..

Day Five - Beavers vs Blythswood and the Fat Ho Bowl

From the blissful calm of the Chedi to the annual pig picking back at the Gymkhana club albeit, in Nige & Brooker’s case, via a golf driving range at the airport due to some communication difficulties with the tuk-tuk driver. A mountain of succulent pork and a bottle of vodka (Lord Chief Justice Billingsley presiding) later, it was time to sit back and enjoy the band – there was some nervousness about how this would pan out but the boys Begley and Ford had worked their magic again, and the entertainment was declared by no less an authority than the big Mo himself to be the most successful pig-picking ever. We even got in a plug for Beaver Friday. The Dickster did a turn behind the drums to universal acclaim and all seems set fair for a cracking night in Tuskers at the end of the week.

It took a bit of smart negotiation by Adam to get us out of the club, but eventually the team piled into the back of a truck and were transported to the old city for some more music at reggae soi – a very different transfer than last year’s tuk-tuk races…..

Thursday morning dawned bright and sunny, not dissimilar to each day that had preceded it and the team gathered at the ground in preparation for their round 2 match against Blythswood. Chris was a late arrival and immediately declared himself available for de-selection following the excesses of the night before. Nige joined him on the sidelines, and the team was settled on as Adam, Phil, Poohie, Dicky, Chas and Bart. Another match, another toss lost and the Beavers were put in to bat – suffice to say the usual promise shown in the nets sent the team into the match with the customary thoroughly misplaced confidence.

Adam and Phil got proceedings underway but despite some assured strokeplay the boundaries once again proved elusive. Eventually Phil decided to take the attack to the bowlers and charged down the wicket, lacking only contact in a majestic lofted drive. The wicket-keeper did the rest and it was one down. Young Brooker was both quick to try and get things moving and quick to return to the pavilion as he drove around a straight one and recorded the Beavers first duck of the tournament. Ever the team man, Dickster determined that Poohie would not be a lone duckie and swiftly joined him offering no stroke to another straight delivery. Adam was next to go having watched the carnage unfold from the non-striker’s end and all hopes therefore rested on the wagging Beaver tail. Barty was swiftly off the mark but then had no answer to another accurate delivery which pegged back his middle stump – cometh the hour cometh the Chas. Or so we thought… Yet another straight one, yet another death rattle and, astonishingly, a hat-trick for Jenny the duck lady. SBCC 28 all out in the fifth over – clearly containment was not a tactical option.

It was down to the Dickster to set about making early inroads and with wickets required Chas set an attacking field of two slips and a gully, to the approval of the match commentator, with Adam patrolling the outfield. A couple of vicious out-swingers just failed to find the edge of the bat and eventually the field spread out to great effect, as Dicky fired in a short delivery which was hooked to backward square, whereupon Brooker snaffled an outstanding catch. The Beavers were not going down without a fight. Well, actually, they were and matters were swiftly brought to their conclusion in the second over with Blythswood cruising to 29-1. On the plus side, of course, valuable time was made up for the tournament as a whole. What a selfless team we are…

After a few beers with our conquerors it was time for the big Ashes match – Sa Pa vs Taranaki. Our Vietnamese friends posted a creditable 62-4 and it looked set for a nail-biter. A fine catch in the outfield by Davo kept the Sa Pas in the game and it was down to the Morto to arise from his sick-bed and bowl the final over with Taranaki needing just 9 to win. A dot ball to start was followed by an outstanding re-arrangement of the stumps and the pendulum was swing the Sa Pa way. Four to win off the final ball and it was ultimately Taranaki’s day as the last delivery was clipped to the fine leg boundary, to a bring a thrilling match to its conclusion.

The day’s proceedings, however, were far from over as it was time for the inaugural Fat Ho Bowl challenge – Beavers vs Sa Pas in a bowl-off: 24 deliveries per team. Morto led the way in an unorthodox style, eschewing both San Miguel and wibbly-wobbly, and it was down to Nige to show him how it should be done. Surprisingly there were no casualties amongst the plenty of tumbles – special mention must go to Barty who managed to fall over twice before releasing the ball. Heroes of the event were Davo who recorded the first hit, and Phil who levelled the scores before the competition reverted to more traditional type. Overall the Sa Pas returned a 25% hit rate which was more than enough to claim the trophy – Phil had a 100% record for the SBCC but with only Barty of the rest of the team able to contribute it was a 6-4 victory to Uncle Ho’s brave warriors.

The trophy was duly presented at the two team’s shared clubhouse, from whence it was to the Best Taste for the 2^nd annual Beaver-Sa Pa dinner. Some outstanding Thai food and a healthy consumption of Leo beer rounded off a splendid day which saw another trophy slip out of the Beaver’s grasp.

Final game on Friday against the unbeaten Bangkok Postels – although let us not forget that the SBCC are played two won two against Cyrus and his men. Oh, dream on…..

Day Six - Beavers vs Bangkok Postels

The latest start time of our week’s fixtures meant it was a leisurely morning for the SBCC and it was with a relaxed unhurried air that the team gathered at the ground. Any sense of territorial pride was long gone in the team tents and we found ourselves spread out and mixing amongst about four of our neighbour’s tents, with players and kit strewn everwhere. It was already determined that Barty would sit this one out having played the first four, with the draw to establish who else would be confined to the sidelines. Alan from Sa Pa was invited to do the honours, however after drawing Poohie’s name out first there was a medical time-out while poor old Morto (or Muerto, as his team now call him) fell victim to the ravages of the unpleasant bug he has been hit with. A few nervous moments, without a shadow of a doubt, but with 3 firemen and a vet on hand he was well looked after and quickly back on his own two feet. Back to the rest of the draw which saw the rest of the batting order lining up as Nige, Chas, Chris, Adam & Phil.

The undefeated Cyrus wandered to our tent to compare notes on who should bat first and it was agreed that the Beavers would have first swish. Brooker and Nige donned the pads and were made very welcome in the outfield by the Postels, against whom it is always a pleasure to play. Some confusion for the commentators as the Pooh-dog was wearing Dicky’s bib, so each of his crisply struck fours was credited to the Dickster by a duly impressed Viking. Eventually Brooker played around a straight one on 11 and made way for Chas whose enthusiasm for sharply-run twos is renowned. Once again Nige and Excalibur were having trouble finding the boundaries so it was the scampered runs that were needed to push the score along. Tight and disciplined bowling from the Bangkok boys meant the contribution from extras was kept down and the SBCC were restricted to 41-1, with Nige and Chas coming in on 17 and 5 respectively.

With the two specialist keepers in the squad both sitting out, Nige took the gloves to try and limit the number of wides conceded. There were high hopes for Phil’s bowling after his success in the Fat Ho bowl although the approach was probably misguided in skipping the shotgun and wibbly wobbly at the start of the run-up. Adam was second up and bowled the most eventful over of the innings, first trapping the batsman plum in front of the stumps but not appealing, and then just failing to hang on to what would have been the catch of the week as a firm off drive was struck back towards him. A couple of tight overs from Chris and Chas made the Postels batsmen work for their runs, but the target was ultimately not enough for the Beavers to defend, and it was at the end of the fourth over when the SBCC score was surpassed, thereby denying us a losing bonus point and confirming our position propping up the entire tournament – a return to our 2007 position and, to universal agreement, our rightful place.

After a couple of beers with Cyrus and the boys we wished them well in their final against the Wombats and departed for some chill-time prior to what was promising to be the biggest night of the week at the clubhouse. Chas did the necessary running around to make sure everything was ready while the rest of the team relaxed at various hotels around the city. By 7.30 the pub was already getting busy and it was a delight to see so many teams there. At the risk of missing some out it was a pleasure to welcome the Scorers along with players from the Maythais, Warathais, Wombats, Blythswood, Divine Felons, Taranaki Taverners, Almar and of course Sa Pa who whilst being a couple of men down, made the entrance of the night in outrageously matching shirts. Aussie John had put the band together again and there were some cracking numbers that got the whole joint jumping. In between sets there was time for the inaugural CM Sixes Boat Race Challenge which saw the SBCC complete a clean sweep of defeats as they were resoundingly trounced by the Maythais. Next up was the world record attempt for the Jager bombs - roared on by the crowd the previous mark of 17 was left looking like nothing more than a warm-up and a new score of 48 is on the Tuskers honours board. More music and singing rounded off an absolutely cracking evening and it was still a decent crowd who headed off to Jackie’s van to complete the evening by seeing to what extent they could nobble the Wombats’ ringers for the Spoon final on Saturday. Another year, another memorable Beaver Friday, for which huge thanks should go to Chas, Rachel and all the staff at Tuskers who were, without exception, outstanding.

Finals day will be a leisurely affair for the defeated Beavers, with our responsibilities limited to cheerleading duties to support the boys from Sa Pa in their first ever Shield final, and see if Cyrus and the Postels can overcome the odds in the Spoon final.

Day Seven - Finals Day

Sixes Saturday was as leisurely as we had expected. It was good to see the Dickster back on form after struggling for several days with the local ‘lurgy, and Adam went the extra mile in terms of facial hair on the off chance that he might be co-opted onto the Sa Pa team if Morto failed a fitness test. As it turned out the Sa Pas were able to field their original line-up, and it was down to the SBCC to provide the support.

The result of the toss meant that Sa Pa were to bat first, and Morto and Alan set about their task with the expected gusto. A couple of towering sixes from the skipper kept things moving and he came agonisingly close to claiming a “ten” by hitting one of the advertising banners. The Lords Taverners Postels kept a disciplined line however, and the innings ended with the honours pretty even at 57-1, with Al just failing to make his ground for the second run on the last delivery.

The second innings saw a creditable defence of their total by the boys not from Vietnam, including another outstanding outfield catch by Davo, but in the end the Taverners proved just a little but too strong and got home with an over to spare. Nevertheless, the Sa Pas returned to their tent with their heads held high, to conclude their most successful tour, which we in the SBCC were delighted to both witness and participate in.

The spoon final went to the wombats as expected, although not before we saw Arron, who has had a fine tournament this year, take an outstanding catch to dismiss one of the Wombat ringers – the appearance of the Postels in the final was a credit to Cyrus and his team and was once again a pleasure to witness.

Cocktails at the Chedi preceded a quick drink at the clubhouse before the slightly tortuous experience of the awards dinner: a scrum down for food followed by lengthy presentations and the sweepstake on the length of Maurice’s speech, which delivered a victory for Niki who came closest to the official time of 30:50.32. Escape was finally possible and we returned to Tuskers with the Sa Pas, who promptly inflicted another defeat on the Beavers in a game of Killer on the pool table, with Nick emerging victorious. Votes were cast for the SBCC Beaver of the tournament and it was a nail-biter. Chas came a creditable third with one vote and after 7 votes declared the two Fire-men were level on 3 apiece. After much tension the final vote was revealed and it was Adam who was declared the winner with Barty in a well-deserved second place.

A token visit to the Sugar Shack didn’t provide much in the way of atmosphere so the night drew to a close at Jackie’s van. At least that’s the last I heard….

So that’s it for the SBCC’s third appearance in the Chiang Mai sixes. No glory on the pitch this year (“played 5, lost 7”), but a memorable week with the highlight surely the fantastic atmosphere in Tuskers for Beaver Friday. Thanks as ever to Chas and Rachel for their wonderful hospitality, and here’s to CM 2010. Fifty-one weeks to go, apparently……